


Forgotten

by Chibi_Mochi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Amnesia, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Illnesses, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibi_Mochi/pseuds/Chibi_Mochi
Summary: Bokuto couldn't remember how many times he had to introduce himself to Akaashi repeatedly. But he didn't care. He'd introduce himself as many times as needed if it meant staying in Akaashi's life. Bokuto lived with the constant fear of being forgotten. It didn't matter if they spent the whole week tangled in each other's limbs, nor did it matter if they slept in the same room together. Akaashi will always wake up one morning, having forgotten everything about Bokuto Koutarou.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [uwujii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwujii/gifts).



> Day of 4 of Haikyuu Angst Week  
> Tier 1, 2, and 3: Broken Promises, Illness, and "I wish this never happened."

Bokuto regrets the day he asked Akaashi to go out with him that one rainy afternoon. If only he didn't beg Akaashi to go out and listened to him, then maybe Akaashi wouldn't have been caught in that car accident, and Akaashi wouldn't have forgotten him. Bokuto could remember the first time he entered Akaashi's room. It's been three days since they got into a car accident, and that day was the first time Bokuto was allowed to leave his hospital room. He peeked into Akaashi's room and saw him sitting, leaning on the wall as he reads a book. Bokuto beamed when he saw that he seemed alright, at least based on what he's seeing. He decided to go in and chat with him.

"Ji!" Bokuto yelled and ran to Akaashi, one arm waving while his cast restricted the other. Akaashi looked at him with a confused expression. Bokuto's hand fell on his side, and he gulped. Something was wrong, he couldn't pinpoint what exactly it is, but it made him feel anxious.

"Ji," He whispered and sat on Akaashi's bed. As the mattress sunk because of Bokuto's weight, Akaashi scooted further to the side. Bokuto felt his heart clench when he could see that Akaashi was uncomfortable. He bit his bottom lip and stood up to give Akaashi the space he needed. His eyes were glued to the ground as he purses his lips, thinking Akaashi's mad at him, and he has every right to be.

"Ji, I'm sorry about-" Bokuto was startled when Akaashi cut him off. He quickly raised his head and stared at him. The question that left Akaashi's lips kept ringing in his head.

"Who are you?" Bokuto took a deep breath. He chuckled nervously and responded with, "it's me, Bokuto, your boyfriend,"

Akaashi furrowed his brows, "I have a boyfriend?" He asks, the question directed to himself and not the person standing beside his bed. Bokuto quickly sat back on Akaashi's bed and reached out to caress his face, but Akaashi flinched before he could even touch his face. Bokuto retracted his hand and asked, "Are you mad at me? Is this how you're gonna show your anger? Keiji, I'm sorry, I really am,"

Akaashi scrunched his nose and furrowed his eyebrows as he massages his temple. Bokuto could see that he had a headache, so he stood up and poured Akaashi a glass of water. It was obvious to everyone that Akaashi knew Bokuto well, but not everyone knew that Bokuto knew Akaashi well too. Bokuto could tell what Akaashi was feeling based on his mannerisms, and Akaashi admitted that it made him happy that Bokuto could read him based on his body language.

"Thank you," Akaashi says and takes the glass from Bokuto's hand. The bi-colored haired man stood beside the bed again, not wanting to do anything that made Akaashi feel uncomfortable.

"Keiji, I mean, Akaashi," The name rolled out of his tongue weirdly. It's been years since he last called Akaashi by his last name and suddenly, using it in this particular situation made him feel uneasy.

"What is it, Bokuto-san?" Bokuto should feel nostalgic after hearing Akaashi call him by his last name with the honorifics attached. He should feel warm and fuzzy, the same way he felt way back in high school. But it didn't, because the warmth that wrapped his name before was gone. The soft tone Akaashi usually used to call Bokuto's name back in high school wasn't there. All Bokuto could hear was the coldness and indifference of a stranger calling out his name, and he hated how it felt like his name didn't just slip past Akaashi's lips.

"Could you tell me what you remember?" Bokuto asked. Akaashi furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, "I'm sorry, Bokuto-san, but the doctor said I lost my memories,"

Bokuto gulped, "is there a way for you to get them back?"

"I'm not sure, but the doctors are still trying to figure out what type of amnesia I have," Akaashi answered. Bokuto nodded and ran his hand through his hair.

"Should I introduce myself again?" Bokuto asked. Akaashi stared at his glass for a full minute as if contemplating if he should allow him or not. Bokuto crossed his fingers behind him as he waits for Akaashi's response. The man sitting on the bed looked up at him and gave him a nod.

"Yes!" Bokuto beamed and straightened himself, "I'm Bokuto Koutarou, your star," He introduced with a wide grin on his face.

Bokuto did his best to help Akaashi remember. He told him everything he could remember while Akaashi listened to him. They spent their time in the hospital in Akaashi's room, and the once silent four-cornered wall was filled with Bokuto's stories. Their laughter reverberated in the room, and within the first week they spent in the hospital, they shared their first kiss ever since Akaashi had lost his memories.

The next day came, and Akaashi's scream awakened Bokuto. He immediately sat up and asked what was wrong, but Akaashi pushed him off his bed as he asked for the second time, "who are you?! Why are you in my bed?!"

Bokuto furrowed his brows. He was certain Akaashi already knows him. Akaashi may not have his memories back, but they spent a week together. He can't forget about him, that's what he thought. Because a few minutes later, Bokuto was escorted out of the room and was asked to wait in his own room. Bokuto was nervously waiting in his room and was pacing when the doctor came in to tell him that Akaashi had a combination of retrograde and anterograde amnesia, which made it impossible for him to recover his memories and difficult for him to form and keep new ones. Bokuto trembled, and he could feel the fear creeping into his system. Akaashi can't forget him. Bokuto refuses to let that happen. So, with determination, he went back to Akaashi's room to introduce himself once again.

"I'm Bokuto Koutarou, your star,"

Bokuto couldn't remember how many times he had to introduce himself to Akaashi repeatedly. But he didn't care. He'd introduce himself as many times as needed if it meant staying in Akaashi's life. Bokuto lived with the constant fear of being forgotten. It didn't matter if they spent the whole week tangled in each other's limbs, nor did it matter if they slept in the same room together. Akaashi will always wake up one morning, having forgotten everything about Bokuto Koutarou.

"I'm Bokuto Koutarou, your star," Bokuto introduced for the nth time in the past year. It was one of the days where Akaashi woke up without any recollection of who Bokuto was, and it hurts him every single time Akaashi asks who he is.

"So, what were we?" Akaashi asked. They were sitting in a cafe near Akaashi's apartment. Bokuto had a game at Sendai the night before Akaashi forgets him, so that meant he couldn't crash at Akaashi's place, and when he called Akaashi to greet him good morning, he was hit with the question he'd heard multiple times. _Who are you?_

Bokuto smiled and answered him in the most cheerful tone he could muster, "I am, I mean I was before you forgot about me, your boyfriend,"

Bokuto could see the glint of guilt that passed by Akaashi's eyes, and it made his heart constrict. As much as I hated being forgotten, it wasn't Akaashi's fault. So, he perked up and started rambling. At least that's a constant thing. A few minutes passed, and Bokuto was already making Akaashi laugh, the guilt in his eyes finally gone and replaced with genuine happiness.

"I love seeing you smile like that, Ji," Bokuto whispered, and it was then that Bokuto realized that he'd willingly repeat the same old stories he tells Akaashi every time he loses his memories. Sitting across Akaashi, who was laughing in front of him, showed him that no matter how many times the brain forgets who he is, Akaashi's heart will always remember him.

"You truly are my boyfriend," Akaashi says after wiping the tear that formed in his eyes from laughing too hard. Bokuto laughed and threw his head back, "That's because I am!"

Bokuto thought he could continue repeating the same old stories. He thought he'd never get tired, narrating them to Akaashi. But as years pass by, Bokuto finally got tired. They were sitting in Akaashi's room, the latter sitting between the former's legs.

"Ji," Bokuto whispered. It's been three months of Akaashi remembering him, but instead of feeling ecstatic, he felt more scared. He was getting used to having Akaashi remember him for the past three months, and he didn't know if he could handle having to introduce himself again.

"You won't forget me tomorrow, right?" Bokuto asked, lifting Akaashi's hand to his lips to press a light kiss.

"Kou," Akaashi whispered. He could hear the pain in Akaashi's voice, and it reminded him that this isn't his boyfriend's fault.

"I'm sorry, it's just that, sometimes," Bokuto said and pressed his lips into a thin line, "I wish this never happened,"

Bokuto could feel Akaashi trembling, and he knew he made his boyfriend cry. Bokuto groaned and cursed himself, "Ji, it's not your fault. I'm sorry I was just tired,"

Akaashi shook his head, "No, it's fine because I wish this never happened too,"

Bokuto tightened his grip around Akaashi's waist as he buries his face into Akaashi's neck. "Ji, I'm sorry,"

"I promise," Akaashi said all of a sudden. Bokuto raised his head and looked at Akaashi, kissing his tears away, "I promise I won't forget about you, never,"

They both knew that the promise Akaashi made would be broken soon. It was meant to be broken because no promise can overcome an illness. But it was the only thing that could make them feel better at the time, so despite knowing that the promise couldn't be kept, they still nodded. "Okay, I believe you can fulfill your promise."

They both fell asleep in each other's arms that night with a slight hope that maybe Akaashi will remember Bokuto forever. Still, the scream that echoed in Akaashi's room reminded them that no promise could make Akaashi remember him forever. A few minutes after the broken promise, Akaashi asked the same question Bokuto heard over the years. The question that haunted Bokuto in his sleep. The three words that could crush Bokuto's heart and soul, "who are you?"

"I'm Bokuto Koutarou, your star,"

Bokuto continued to repeat the same reply every single time Akaashi asks him the same question. Though Bokuto believed he could go on with this set up forever, he started to doubt himself slowly. He wondered how many times more can he repeatedly say the same response over and over and over again.

It's been four years since Akaashi had the illness that seemed to test Bokuto's love for Akaashi. So, there they were, sitting on the sand as they watch the sunset. Bokuto had his arm around Akaashi while the latter leaned on his shoulder.

"Kou, what if I forget you tomorrow?" Akaashi suddenly asked. Bokuto gave him a weak smile and kissed his head, "I'll introduce myself to you again,"

Akaashi lifted his head and cupped Bokuto's cheeks in his palms, "don't lie to me. I can see that you're tired,"

Bokuto couldn't respond to that. As much as he knows that his silence will hurt Akaashi, he didn't want to lie to him. "What if you try finding someone else to love?" Akaashi asked.

Bokuto stiffed, and he felt his heart race. This was the first time Akaashi asked him to look for someone else to love. Was he that tired? Was it that obvious?

"No, Ji, I-" Bokuto couldn't finish what he wanted to say because Akaashi placed a finger on his lips.

"I can tell you're tired, Kou, and I understand why. You've always found a way for us to be together, and it's unfair that I always forget about you. At the same time, you remember everything about us," Akaashi whispered and wiped the tears that fell from his eyes, and in that exact moment, Bokuto understood something.

"Ji, no, no, I won't look for someone else," He whispered and cupped Akaashi's cheeks between his calloused palms. "I won't look for someone else because no matter how many times you forget about me, I'll always introduce myself to you the same way I always had these past years. I don't care if you forget all of our memories together because I'll hold onto them for us. I'll cherish them and have it etched in my memories for both of us. Akaashi, I can't love anyone else but you. It doesn't matter if you wake up the next day and not remember me because I'll find a way to rekindle the dimmed flame of your love caused by the loss of your memories. Akaashi, no illness will take you away from me,"

"Kou," Akaashi whispered as he cries. Bokuto wiped his tears away and kissed the top of his head. At that moment, he understood why he stayed despite feeling tired and doubting himself. He understood that he was still there because of his undying love for Akaashi Keiji.

So, when a month came, and Akaashi woke up asking him the same questions he's heard multiple time, Bokuto answered with full confidence and love, "I'm Bokuto Koutarou, your star," Because no matter how what illness or broken promises are made between them, their love will always keep them together.


End file.
